Hello lovelies! I decided I want to try something new on this blog and, as you can tell from the title, I’m experimenting with a meditation journal! Ever since I had that haphazard meditational experience, I got really inspired to begin incorporating meditation into my daily life and what better to way to stay motivated than start a journal?!? If all goes well, I’ll eventually make an individual category for these types of posts, but I just want to see how it goes first.
Yesterday, my dad spoke with an academic counselor over the phone at my university. He cleared up some misinformation and gave me more ideas on how I can better prepare for Statistics. I was really grateful, don’t get me wrong, but I’m still very tense about the subject.
I felt even more ashamed when my dad explained that the academic counselors have a probation process where they reach out to students who aren’t doing well in their courses. I probably would have made that list if I hadn’t dropped my statistics course. Then, there was the fact that I may have to take a statistics course at a community college just to build a foundation. I wouldn’t be able to transfer it for credit. I wasn’t sure why but that idea really stressed me out.
Going into meditation with all this on my mind, it was a little tough to not think about anything. So I stopped trying. I let my fears have their say and I realized not only how unfounded they were but how to go about absolving them.
Yes, I didn’t use any tutors for my statistics course. But I was doing great on the homework the tests were just disproportionately difficult and I thought I knew what I was doing when I was studying for them. I couldn’t have known better.
Yes, I may have to take a stats course at a community college in addition to my regular courses. That’s completely okay okay. There’s a community college within 15 minutes of my university that I may be able to attend and many others near my house. Also, what’s there to be afraid of? Driving to a place I’ve never seen before that’s full of strangers who seem to know exactly what they’re doing, meanwhile, I’m still trying to figure out what the heck a minor is? News flash: I’m doing that right now.
Once all that was cleared up, I was able to meditate in peace and quiet. (Including getting the instrumental part of “BTS Cypher 4” out of my head. A lot of the times when I’m stressed out about something, I get the instrumental part of songs stuck on repeat in my head. This wasn’t an exception.)
It may be too early for me to say this since I’ve only meditated twice in my life, but maybe meditation isn’t just about clearing your mind. Maybe it’s also about cleansing your mind to find the solutions that are already there, inside you, but are being drowned out by something. I’m just speculating here but I suppose I’ll see as I meditate more and more.
What did you lovelies think of this post? Should I do more like it? How can I improve? Let me know in the comments below!