Day 16: Recipe
My favorite recipe would have to be my recipe to inner peace. It looks something like this…
Don’t mind what strangers say about you. The only opinions that matter are your own and God’s. Do you like who you see in the mirror and does He rejoice when you rise in the morning? If the answer to both these questions is yes, you don’t have to change anything about yourself. (Now I’m assuming you aren’t a sociopath and, therefore, not as capable of discerning between right and wrong. BUT, if you’re a sociopath, you aren’t immediately a bad person.)
Listen to your gut. Seriously. Your intuition is better than you think. You’ve survived 100% of the problems life has thrown at you so far. Also, you know yourself best! Don’t commit to things you can’t pour your soul into…including people. It wasn’t easy breaking up with my soul sister at all, but I was doing myself a disservice by reaching out to someone who didn’t care about me. When you go against your deepest desires and feelings, you’re almost initiating a war within yourself because you have these goals and are ignoring them. That’s distress and inner turmoil at its finest. When I was younger and afraid of taking risks, I’d come home to do my homework then browse endlessly on the Internet about all the things I wanted to do: write poetry and short stories, sew, draw, sing, dance. It was so paralyzing that I couldn’t stop but then, one day, I worked up the nerve to secretly write poems and save them to my Google Drive. It was only uphill from there.
Don’t be ashamed of making mistakes. Sometimes, you misjudge your hopes and dreams or you just done goofed up. That’s OK. Think of it this way: will it affect you in the next 2 years? Months? Weeks? If the answer to all of those is no, let it go. Just as you can teach yourself to self-harm, you can teach yourself to self-love. This was exactly how I fell into self-harm. I was punishing myself for the smallest things.
Keep things in perspective. This one goes hand in hand with the last one. Know the difference between something that’ll ruin your life vs. something that’ll ruin your day. Spoiler alert: Almost nothing ruins your life. I had a GPA in the 2.0 range coming out of sophomore year in high school and I still made it to my dream university. I was bullied in literally all ways possible as a child, but I’m still OK. I tripped over my own backpack in the girl’s bathroom at school yesterday and came out with 0 injuries to my body/self-confidence!
Have an open mind. I just plunged into the deep end and made my first online clothes purchase ever. It was a painfully informed decision, but I still can’t be 100% sure that the coat will fit properly or look even slightly akin to the product image. Computer resolution, the type of camera that was used, the lighting, and the photo editing could have made it look completely different. And size charts only go so far. HOWEVER, I’m going to hope for the best because I learned as much as I could and, worst comes to worst, I can always return/exchange it.
Know when you’ve done all you can. As a springboard off the last point, there occasionally — or not so occasionally — comes a time when you’ve done everything that’s humanly possible to ensure that something occurs. At this point, especially if you’ve been preparing long-term, you can start to feel distressed like you missed a step somewhere or should be doing something more. Spare yourself the misery and acknowledge that all you can really do is wait.
Learn to laugh at yourself. As someone who can’t open childproof gates or medicine bottles, hurts their fingers trying to peel cuties, and generally makes a fool of themselves…this is my most important asset in not freezing up in public. I’ve found that laughing at yourself takes the power away from anyone else who may laugh at you because they see, “Oh, this person really doesn’t care what other people think. #confidencegoals.” Or they just think you’re crazy and don’t laugh at you for fear of becoming the next person on your hit list. Either one.
Learn to love yourself. Talk to yourself like you’d talk to a child. It’s going to sound silly at first but it really helps you build acceptance within yourself. “It’s OK” sounds way better than “You stupid idiot you f***ed up.” Try to avoid self-deprecation even if it’s meant to be a joke because it’s really easy to let it get out of hand.
Meditate, draw, exercise, do something that clears your mind. In today’s day and age, we’re constantly being bombarded by information and, well, life. It’s important to take some quality time to unwind so you don’t become an over-wired zombie who doesn’t even know what they’re running on because they’re sleep-deprived, hungry, — and low on iron as is — and counting down the days until their school break next week. Not that I’m referring to anyone
me in particular.
When all else fails, drink green tea. Seriously, this drink is the nectar of God’s infinite Grace and Will. (I apologize in advance for speaking about God like an uncultured swine. Anyone who understood that reference…you clearly have much better taste than me.) I didn’t receive any form of compensation for advertising this tea, I’m just obsessed with it and I think you lovelies will be too. Just in case you missed the first link, you can buy my favorite green tea here. Try using a tablespoon of honey instead of sugar and you’ll see why I’m so calm 😉
P.S. How do you lovelies maintain peace within yourselves? Did I inspire any of you to try my methods? Let me know in the comments below!