Just yesterday, I went to visit my orthodontist…which I know probably sounds boring to most of you! But when you’re finalizing your treatment after your jaw surgery, it isn’t so boring. More nerve-wracking actually. I DO NOT WANT TO GO THROUGH THAT SURGERY AGAIN. Once is more than enough. Recovery is unbelievably taxing on your body — because the only nutrients you’re getting are through liquids for a week. Then you can’t shower by yourself or walk around for too long…basically you can’t do much at all but you have to do as much as you can if you want to get back to 100% ASAP. Our body is amazing like that. If you push it hard enough — but not too hard, and don’t allow it to waste away, it’ll bounce back before you know it.
Anyways, I had a bit of trouble in paradise last time I saw my orthodontist. See, she wanted to put a TPA in my mouth to hold the position of my jaw; otherwise muscle memory would kick in and my teeth would try to go back to their original messed up position! Said TPA wasn’t working out so well. It caused me immense pain and I couldn’t tolerate it after the second week of having it so she removed it and replaced it with rubber bands and a thicker upper wire. (She’s trying to widen my upper palette.)
Fast forward to yesterday’s appointment and I’m wondering: What if my teeth moved back? What if that evil contraption has to go back in my mouth? What if my dad, who decided to tag along with me, embarrasses me? (As an engineer, he likes to ask every possible question about everything.) Who is this new lady who’s about to put her hands in my mouth? What if she doesn’t know what she’s doing? What if she hurts me?
Top that anxiety off with the fact that the patient next to me was getting her braces removed. And so was the next one. While I’m discussing the final steps of my treatment plan. God has a wicked sense of humor, doesn’t He? –> This is actually misleading. I know I sound salty and jealous but I actually wasn’t! Seriously! At first, I thought I’d be a little upset that the person literally across from me was about to be released by the suffering that is braces…but then I realized that I just didn’t care. Here’s why…
- I had a conversation with eshinalidoreen a few days back and she brought up this excellent point that no two strangers are meant to be twins –> My story isn’t meant to be like the person’s next to me –> My treatment shouldn’t look anything like theirs because, God forbid, I highly doubt they had a Class 3 underbite and crossbite that elicited jaw surgery like me –> I better not be getting my braces off the same day as them!
- I don’t believe in jealousy. If I want something or I want something to change, I make it happen. How can I get these metal contraptions, that are actually quite pretty in a sadistic way, out of my mouth? By continuing to obsessively wear my rubber bands. Seriously. I’m not even ashamed of saying that wearing my rubber bands as long as possible is one of my top priorities. Sometimes I catch myself making sure they’re still there with my tongue. I just have too much on the line otherwise.
- I know that I just represented my jaw surgery as this body-battering, soul-shattering experience — and it was — but it was the best thing that happened to my face. It solved my TMJ problems, I can yawn like a normal person now. It doesn’t cause me pain anymore. My chin doesn’t look like a blob anymore. Or resemble a nightmare monster (it’s a proven psychological fact that humans are afraid of beings with proportions unlike their own. That’s why monsters tend to have massive underbites. Because it looks unnatural.) I’M NORMAL AND PAINFREE NOW.
- My body comes first. If my teeth need a little longer to get used to their new place, fine. I’ll wait as long as they need if it means no more pain.
To sum it up, I’m grateful for my acceptance of my current state. I’m glad that I’m not jealous or in a rush to get my braces off. I’m at peace with the process and I have faith that, one day, this will all just be one long midsummer night’s dream. 😉