As you lovelies know, my dad has been searching for employment since we touched down from Hawaii last summer. Yes, I know, it was so considerate of my dad’s previous company to lay him off as soon as he returned from vacation. (That was sarcasm.)
At any rate, he’s been feeling a little low lately because he was really hoping to find a new job before the end of 2016 and, unfortunately, it doesn’t look like it’s going to happen. That’s why I wanted to give my dad a little inspiration because I don’t want him to be so sad and dejected. Especially during the Christmas season!
My dad has always been the one to inspire me and, here come the tears, I want to help him this time around because I know this has been really hard on him not getting anywhere despite his best efforts.
That’s why, this Christmas season, I’m bombarding him with positivity and hope. To remind him that he’s still worth something even though these companies can’t see it, to remind him that there’s still hope, and to remind him not to ever give up on his dream of working in IoT.
Now, I originally planned on making him a flip book jampacked with inspirational quotes from scratch. Then, I realized I didn’t actually have to do that.
Last school year, I happened to get this mini book on a split ring in a skit for my Economics class. It’s been collecting dust ever since. Until now that is…
As you can see, it was literally perfect. It already had positive messages scrawled across it and it had so much character. Not that my version lacked that. It just wasn’t the same, ya know?
Now, me being the overachiever I am, I wanted to fill every. Last. Page. With a quote. I wound up filling 72 pages lovelies. Seventy-two. But you know what? It wasn’t that bad because…
- All of the writing I did was probably equivalent to an essay anyway
- I know my dad would do this and three times more if he knew I was losing faith in myself
That’s the amazing thing about love. It motivates you to do these seemingly herculean things. Or maybe I’m just blowing this out of proportion and finding 72 inspirational quotes on the Internet then handwriting every last one is a simple task. If you believe that’s the case, stop reading and let me know in the comments below. If you don’t, I have more to say.
I used to be terrified of love. My experience in elementary and middle school taught me that love always came with pain. People would be nice for a while then, when I outlasted their needs, they’d drop me. I didn’t get close to anyone after that. The human body is an amazing resilient force like that; it’ll learn from previous mistakes and prevent further harm from coming to you. Even at the cost of numbing your heart and soul.
For a long time, I didn’t question what was happening to me. Then I met my soul sister. Our relationship was so tense in the beginning because I couldn’t trust her, but I craved someone to talk to so badly. So I opened up to her despite my body screaming at me to run away. When I broke things off with her, the first thing my body said was “told you so.” At first, I believed it. Maybe I was just fooling myself all along. Maybe I just wasn’t meant to love. It wasn’t like love was what got me to where I was anyway.
My relationship with everyone was surface level. I wasn’t even two years clean from self-harm. Plus, all of my friends were going to different universities anyway.
It took me a while to realize that my body was wrong. The purpose of my soul sister was to teach me to love again and when God realized that I was losing that capability, in the last few weeks of our relationship I was getting colder and angrier as she ignored me, He willed me to let her go. Knowing that the healing process would be long and hard, He brought angels and miracles into my life.
Did I tell you how I felt during the first weeks of my recovery from my jaw surgery? How I wanted to cry out the Lord’s name for all the Grace he gave me? My parents literally nursed me back to health; I’d never felt so loved in my life. Mainly because I’d never needed so much help in my life. It’s not everyday that you need help walking to the bathroom, eating, lifting anything heavier than 5 pounds, and with basically everything a baby can’t do alone. When I grew strong enough to thank my family for everything they’d done, they immediately brushed it off and said that’s what family is for.
That was when it first dawned on me that maybe my body didn’t know what it was talking about. Maybe opening up to my soul sister wasn’t the biggest mistake I ever made. She came into my life for a reason and left for a reason as well. Maybe I could love another; just not her.
Well, I’d say I can love now. I wouldn’t be repairing my relationships with my brother and mum or filling out a book of quotes for my dad, if I didn’t, now would I?
P.S. What are some ways that love has inspired you to do crazy things? Let me know in the comments below!