I’m sure you lovelies are familiar with the ideas of “doing what you’re meant to do” and being with “your soulmate.” Neither of those ideas are accurate because they defeat the concept of free will.
Think about it: you come onto this planet destined to do one thing and one thing alone. What if you don’t want to do that one thing? What if you never find out what that one thing is? Both instances happen all the time.
Just because I love writing and happen to be fairly good at it doesn’t mean it’s automatically my sole purpose in life. I live to write yes, but I live for other things too. (Like vegetarian/vegan spicy noodles recipes. This one is my favorite by far.) Therefore, if anything, telling people that they will only serve one goal in life is just an excuse to oversimplify their character. Not only is this unrealistic because it’s very normal for people to play multiple roles in one day: see the working woman who plays a commuter in the morning, a professional in the afternoon, and a mother by evening. It’s downright stereotyping because the conception of what an individual is meant to do often comes from the surface.
Say a person loves drawing, they’ve done it their whole lives, and everything they create looks like it should be hanging in a museum. However, they adore animals more than anything, and they regularly make a point of rescuing strays as well as adopting from shelters. Who
It doesn’t see the person underneath that, for example, enjoys doing many things and simply wants to serve others in whatever way they can.
We all know how society loves to label people and stick them in perfect little boxes because disorder and depth are dangerous. They make people think.
Say a person comes from a family of doctors; their parents are probably pressuring them to be one too or get a doctorate and hold an equally rigorous job title. Who are they to tell their child that becoming a doctor or holding a doctorate is what he’s supposed to do?
They should absolutely want their child to be successful, but success looks different to everyone. If someone’s vision of success is different than their friends or family, their approach will be different, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
My vision of success doesn’t even involve a house. It looks like me living in an apartment being able to pay my bills, feed myself, and get some nice things every now and then. My brother thinks that, by me living in an apartment, I’d be less successful than my parents. (I’d like to point out that living on a single income in my area is fairly difficult. It isn’t cheap to live where I do at all.) The only thing that’s wrong is when people try to force their meaning of success down others’ throats.
The last problem I see with this destiny thing is how it doesn’t help the jacks of all trades or the well-rounded folk who don’t know what they want to do. I say you’re not meant to do anything so stop searching for the perfect job. You will never find your place because it’s something you create.
The love of any particular field or passion to solve any problem can only come from inside. It’s not like someone can hand out those things on a silver platter.
You make your own home somewhere. You don’t “settle in” or “fit in.” You make the place settle to you. You make it fit you. Do that for as long as you can and, when it stops working, find a new job. As long as you don’t have a super specialized degree, moving around is only as difficult as you make it.
As for the idea of a soulmate…
What if you’re wrong about this person? What if they live halfway across the world and you never find them, assuming such a person exists?
I thought I met my soul sister but, as you lovelies know, that didn’t work out. Some of my friends thought they met “the one” but they were wrong. Pop music as a whole seems to revolve obsessively around this notion. (Not just American pop. KPOP does this too but it isn’t as bad.)
Also, I know quite a few married couples who wouldn’t call their partner their soulmate, but they still love them. They’re going on 20+ years, and yes to the same person, and that isn’t changing anytime soon.
That’s why I have a problem with these ideas of fate and destiny. They contradict the existence of free will — which I can’t prove exists but I’d like to believe it does, — they generalize people, and they’re downright unrealistic. (That and my blog tagline kind of directly challenges the notion hehe. Now you lovelies understand it better!) Let’s cut to the chase already, there are no soulmates. Love is a choice be it for a particular job or person. Falling out of love happens just as easily as falling in love. There’s nothing wrong with that.
P.S. What do you lovelies think? Talk to me in the comments below!