You Don’t “Belong” Anywhere

I’m sure you lovelies are familiar with the ideas of “doing what you’re meant to do” and being with “your soulmate.” Neither of those ideas are accurate because they defeat the concept of free will.

Think about it: you come onto this planet destined to do one thing and one thing alone. What if you don’t want to do that one thing? What if you never find out what that one thing is? Both instances happen all the time.

Just because I love writing and happen to be fairly good at it doesn’t mean it’s automatically my sole purpose in life. I live to write yes, but I live for other things too. (Like vegetarian/vegan spicy noodles recipes. This one is my favorite by far.) Therefore, if anything, telling people that they will only serve one goal in life is just an excuse to oversimplify their character. Not only is this unrealistic because it’s very normal for people to play multiple roles in one day: see the working woman who plays a commuter in the morning, a professional in the afternoon, and a mother by evening. It’s downright stereotyping because the conception of what an individual is meant to do often comes from the surface.

Say a person loves drawing, they’ve done it their whole lives, and everything they create looks like it should be hanging in a museum. However, they adore animals more than anything, and they regularly make a point of rescuing strays as well as adopting from shelters. Who

It doesn’t see the person underneath that, for example, enjoys doing many things and simply wants to serve others in whatever way they can.

We all know how society loves to label people and stick them in perfect little boxes because disorder and depth are dangerous. They make people think.

Say a person comes from a family of doctors; their parents are probably pressuring them to be one too or get a doctorate and hold an equally rigorous job title. Who are they to tell their child that becoming a doctor or holding a doctorate is what he’s supposed to do?

They should absolutely want their child to be successful, but success looks different to everyone. If someone’s vision of success is different than their friends or family, their approach will be different, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

My vision of success doesn’t even involve a house. It looks like me living in an apartment being able to pay my bills, feed myself, and get some nice things every now and then. My brother thinks that, by me living in an apartment, I’d be less successful than my parents. (I’d like to point out that living on a single income in my area is fairly difficult. It isn’t cheap to live where I do at all.) The only thing that’s wrong is when people try to force their meaning of success down others’ throats. 

The last problem I see with this destiny thing is how it doesn’t help the jacks of all trades or the well-rounded folk who don’t know what they want to do. I say you’re not meant to do anything so stop searching for the perfect job. You will never find your place because it’s something you create.

The love of any particular field or passion to solve any problem can only come from inside. It’s not like someone can hand out those things on a silver platter.

You make your own home somewhere. You don’t “settle in” or “fit in.” You make the place settle to you. You make it fit you. Do that for as long as you can and, when it stops working, find a new job. As long as you don’t have a super specialized degree, moving around is only as difficult as you make it.

As for the idea of a soulmate…

What if you’re wrong about this person? What if they live halfway across the world and you never find them, assuming such a person exists?

I thought I met my soul sister but, as you lovelies know, that didn’t work out. Some of my friends thought they met “the one” but they were wrong. Pop music as a whole seems to revolve obsessively around this notion. (Not just American pop. KPOP does this too but it isn’t as bad.)

Also, I know quite a few married couples who wouldn’t call their partner their soulmate, but they still love them. They’re going on 20+ years, and yes to the same person, and that isn’t changing anytime soon.

That’s why I have a problem with these ideas of fate and destiny. They contradict the existence of free will — which I can’t prove exists but I’d like to believe it does, —  they generalize people, and they’re downright unrealistic. (That and my blog tagline kind of directly challenges the notion hehe. Now you lovelies understand it better!) Let’s cut to the chase already, there are no soulmates. Love is a choice be it for a particular job or person. Falling out of love happens just as easily as falling in love. There’s nothing wrong with that.

~Live boundless.

P.S. What do you lovelies think? Talk to me in the comments below!


22 thoughts on “You Don’t “Belong” Anywhere

  1. I agree and disagree. I believe in fate & free will. I believe that both can exist. I also believe that you can have more than one so called “soul mate” and it doesn’t have to be your spouse.My best friend understands me like no one else. She just gets it. She has never questioned my reactions or emotions to topics or events, she just knows what I’m thinking and I don’t even have to say a word. When I met my husband, I didn’t want to fall in love. I had gone through a traumatic experience, all of the guys I dated up until that point were just not right for me, and I was done. I was going to take the time to focus on myself, maybe go back to school, or travel, and then I met my husband. I took things very slowly, because I didn’t want to be in a relationship, but I fell in love with him. He entered my life at a time I needed him the most, and I didn’t even know it at the time. He made me believe in romance again, he brought out that optimistic 14 year old girl in me who believed that guys could be just as gushy and romantic as me. Most importantly he made me laugh, to this day he makes me laugh on a daily basis. I’m a sucker for a guy with a good sense of humor! I also found out a long time ago that my passion was helping people. I focused on the wrong career path by entering the medical field. While anatomy, blood, and genetics still fascinate me, I absolutely love the job I have now, working for a non-profit. That never would have happened if I hadn’t been laid off. Now, I’m not saying I’m doing exactly what I was made to do…who knows, but I’m happy, and isn’t that what really matters? I have a career that I love, how many people can say that? I’m not saying that fate or destiny brought me here, but I definitely didn’t seek this out, once again it was something that just sort of happened, by things that were out of my control. Maybe I won’t stay here, but I do believe that I am where I am supposed to be at this moment in time! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I thought your post was fascinating. I see what you’re saying. I agree with you about “doing what you’re meant to do” is a fallacy. It’s a nice compliment from people from time to time, but no one should be expected to be a doctor or a lawyer or anything because someone in their family was. That’s very old-fashioned and restrictive. I’m happy that my parents supported my pursuit of journalism and writing. My dad is an engineer and my mom is a teacher. There are people that I know who are teachers, nurses, firefighters, and police officers, and I’ve found that most of them get the “meant to do” compliment. I try not to say that, however. They are heroes and amazing people. Everyone has their talents and strengths.

    However, I do believe in soul mates. Like Kristian, I met my husband during a dark time in my life. I had just escaped from a long-term abusive relationship, and I wasn’t looking for anything. However, Al swept me off my feet, and he is an amazing person. He gets me, he knows me, and he cares and loves me for exactly who I am.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for sharing your story 🙂 I agree that we should all try to support each other without trying to impose old-fashioned ideologies and fallacies. That’s pretty interesting that both of you have similar love stories 🙂 I’m only 18 so I wouldn’t know anything about that! 😂


  3. I think that this post was awesome! “The only thing that’s wrong is when people try to force their meaning of success down others’ throats. ” I hate when people do that, I have friends who do that, and it’s annoying. I may be guilty of doing this sometimes, especially with the whole school thing, but man I hate when people do it to me.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I definitely don’t do it because I think it really hurts people. Success is tied to a lot of things like self-worth, life goals, and all that. To tell someone that their meaning of success is wrong is basically like telling them their life is wrong. There are more than enough people who would be glad to do that. I will not be one of them. I will fight their influence.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I agree that success is intertwined with a lot of thins, However, “To tell someone that their meaning of success is wrong is basically like telling them their life is wrong.” I don’t particularly see it that way, I could understand how some people could, but I don’t. My bio dad thinks he’s successful because he doesn’t have stress in his life, stress to him meaning having a job. He hasn’t had a job since 2002, he likes to lie ands say he works, but he doesn’t.


  4. I agree with just about everything you’ve written. I do believe that some people have a true calling – for example, a brilliant surgeon or artist, who should explore that route. Humans are wonderfully perplex and varied though – we can excel in many areas and we’re ever-changing. You probably have an idea of my view on life – I like to vary it 🙂 Who knows what’s in store for any of us?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. “We all know how society loves to label people and stick them in perfect little boxes because disorder and depth are dangerous. They make people think.”

    So true!

    Regarding my thoughts on fate/destiny:

    I believe we are created by God for a reason, and the purpose of life is to find that reason.

    But: It is a reason that a person can freely choose to accept or deny.

    For example: Even if I feel in my heart that God wants me to be a writer, I can still choose to be an actor.

    Liked by 1 person

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