It seems to be happening more and more often that life throws more things at me than I can handle all at once. Instead of feeling 1-2 emotions I’m feeling 7-8. Now, all of it has me feeling like Edvard Munch’s “Scream” here.
I have my first Finite Math test this Friday and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t stressing the heck out. I’m beyond afraid that, no matter how much study, I won’t do well. At the same time, I’m aware that stressing out makes me forget things which stresses me out even more. Negativity also hangs over me like a guillotine at this point.
I’m angry because at least 3 people have misunderstood/judged me in the past few days and I can’t really change their thinking.
Never in all my years did I imagine having to iron a suit for my dad to wear to a job interview, but that was yesterday evening and I’m thrilled but too overwhelmed to express it.
I haven’t slept enough in several days so I’m mentally and physically exhausted but have no time to rest because I have so much work to do for university.
Basically, busy life is an understatement, but as iiSuperwomanii says, “Busy is a blessing.” I’m going to hold onto that as I work through things because I believe that it is. I remember when I was younger I could only dream of making sacrifices to chase a higher purpose. Going to bed after a long day seemed like something only artists and writers would do. I’m happy to be where I am. I’m happy to be fighting for a larger cause, I’m happy to not have all the answers, I’m happy to feel so alive.
I wouldn’t trade this for anything.