Mastering My Emotions

Today I will be the master of my emotions

I first saw this post on The Happy Life and had to get involved. Feel free to jump in and write a post with your responses as well!

How do I change?

If I feel depressed, I will turn to what I love.

This is the magic of having hobbies, lovelies. You can just lose yourself in the experience and be fully in the moment. As a late Valentine’s Day stint, I made a bracelet with my mum. During that half hour or so, I wasn’t worried about anything except what bead to use next. Here’s how it turned out!

Valentine's Day craft
If I feel sad, I will walk.

During high school, I spent the majority of my time recovering from being bullied and finding myself. It had to get worse before it could get better, lovelies, I can’t even tell you how many times I’d amble through my campus on the verge of tears. Still, the physical act of walking was sort of my way telling the universe “Hey I’m still alive! I got this!” Either that or I was dead woman walking. Both work though I guess.

If I feel ill, I will modify.

Quick shout-out to all you bloggers with chronic illnesses, y’all are the real MVP’s. I truly admire your resilience and ability to adapt. I can’t even imagine what it would be like to have a disease like fibromyalgia, and here you lovelies are fighting it on a daily basis.

As for me, I do my best to slow things down and commit to less when I’m feeling under the weather. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about America, it’s that nobody cares about your health, except for you and your loved ones, UNLESS you pay them to. That’s part of the reason why mental health advocacy is so important. Not everyone has the necessary resources to take care of their mental health so they need other people to stand up for them.

If I feel fear, I will remember why I started.

As I’ve said before, “Did you start climbing the mountain only to let go of the rock face halfway up?” Fear shouldn’t govern your life. You are the one in control of your destiny; you tell yourself what you can and can’t do. Nobody else. 

Also, wallowing in fear is no way to live. I like to use the women with a mutated BRCA1 gene as an example for this. They know that they have a higher risk for contracting breast cancer than women without it, but they don’t spend all their time wondering when their diagnosis will come. Disclaimer: I’m not trying to speak for all of the women with this mutation. I’ve only read stories about a handful of them and am pulling from those.

If I feel inferior, I will start laughing.

Ideally I’ll laugh soundlessly, but my insanity doesn’t guarantee anything other than fishy internal dialogue and the belief that my phone will last an hour and a half on 4%.

In all seriousness, though, laughing at yourself immediately takes away the power from other people to judge/demean you. The ability to not take yourself so seriously and be comfortable with your quirks freaks people out. Pop culture normalizes hating yourself so much that it’s radical to love yourself and not try to be like

Well, I refuse to give up my self worth and inner peace for the sake of social acceptance anymore. It didn’t work, it destroyed my sense of purpose and self, and frankly I’m not here to please. I have an agenda — the Boundless Agenda — and I’m sticking to it.

Nothing is more beautiful than confidence

If I feel uncertain, I will ask one more question.

It just isn’t good enough to smile and nod like everything makes sense and you know what you’re doing when you don’t. That crap makes you burn the house down. 

Now I know it’s scary asking questions because you may feel like others are judging you and you don’t want to be the only person in the room who doesn’t understand. As a student who has struggled with math since eighth grade, I can tell you that it really isn’t as bad as you think. When the teachers tell you that other people probably have the same question as you and are glad you asked, they mean it.

When I re-took Algebra freshman year, I was determined to understand. I didn’t care if I had to ask questions every couple minutes, I refused to fail again. At the end of class that year, I remember one of my friends in that class telling me how much I’d helped everyone understand the material. See, everyone was just as confused as me, but they lost hope that they’d ever get it. When I transferred into the class in November and started asking questions left and right, all of that changed for them. Never. Ever. Hesitate. To. Ask. A. Question. You’re doing yourself, and everyone else in the room, a disservice by suffering in silence, and life’s way too short for that.

If I feel poverty, I will remember to be grateful for what I have.

I’d like to acknowledge my bias as a fairly privileged member of the middle-class before I respond to this. I’ve never ran out of food to eat, clothes to wear, and I drive my dad’s car to university — which my dad and mum pay for as well — everyday.

That being said, I don’t always get all the video games I want, I pillage most of my craft supplies, and I don’t make any money. It would be very easy for me to fall into the trap of envying other kids my age. Apparently it’s normal to buy new clothes and accessories every fortnight (?) and upgrade your iPhone every time a new one comes out even if when it isn’t that different.

I haven’t bought new clothes for 3 years and, the last time I bought them, I outgrew my old ones. I feel no urge to add to my wardrobe for the sake of fashion or whatever reason it is that girls my age frequent Forever 21.

Part of the reason for that is my penchant for minimalism, but it’s also that I think always seeking to acquire new things devalues what you already have. It’s basically saying that your possessions aren’t good enough, and sometimes they aren’t if they’re broken, just because they’re old which is the opposite of Japanese aesthetics.

Age is a symbol of beauty in Japanese aesthetics because it represents how something or someone has endured over time and now they have a story to tell. It’s exactly like how they say you can tell where someone’s been by looking at their shoes.

Just yesterday, one of my classmates pointed my 3 year-old Doc Martens out and wistfully recalled how his used to look like mine.

My Doc Martens with YELLOW laces

If I feel incompetent, I will remember how far I’ve come.

For the sake of brevity and not inciting half of you to unfollow my blog out of annoyance, I’ll just link to a post talking about the places I’ve been and where I am now. Read it here.

Bottom Line: It always blows my mind to see how far I’ve come over the past few years as a writer, student, and human being. I’ve redeemed myself before, so I can do it again.

If I feel insignificant, I will remember all of you lovelies.

Current Follower Count: 666 (someone Follow me before I die!!!) ;P

I can now legitimately say that hundreds of people are willing to put up with my craziness…and maybe appreciate it just a little bit? Blogging goals and Boundless Agenda aside, that’s just pretty cool. I’ve had the wonderful opportunity to touch so many of your lives and I won’t soon forget how it feels.

Today I will be the master of my emotions.

~Live boundless.

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18 thoughts on “Mastering My Emotions

  1. I’m glad that you did this exercise. I really enjoyed reading your answers and add to that, you’ve shared very good insights. Also, it’s nice to know that you’ve allotted a few hours of your Valentine’s Day to make bracelet with your mom.. I think it’s sweet! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Haha! Yeah, I read what you said about your current number of followers. It’s crazy having that particular number! 😄 (but I’d still follow should it have been a different number!😉)

        Liked by 1 person

  2. This must have been a really useful exercise for you and I enjoyed it. I was interested in your minimalist approach. I know you’ve talked about it before and I differed because I buy a lot of stuff I don’t need. In January I set out to only buy what I needed and so far I’ve achieved this. You’re so cute too 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I hope this is the blog I intended to comment on; I had it saved under Mastering My Emotions.

    I have overcome bipolar disease and anxiety in the last five years after dealing with the bipolar for thirty years and the anxiety for nine.

    I have overcome drug and alcohol addiction form pre-teen to young adult, a major motorcycle accident that landed me in shock-trauma, a serious suicide attempt (intensive care for five weeks), bipolar disease, anxiety, and most recently a stomach mass and cancer scare. I feel these are greater accomplishments than others who are consider a success like my brother the architect.

    When I was sick with the stomach mass my parents sent me a beautiful card that said in part that I was strong and would look back on this period as just a memory. How true this turned out to be. I do consider myself strong and it is but a memory.

    My journey into mental and physical wellness began as I said five years ago. At that point I was taken off klonopin because I had started to abuse it. Shortly after this I was given the job of organizing and managing a client library at the life skills program I attend two times a week. Back then I was going five times a week. Surprising to me, my anxiety started to lessen, and my mood improved. I soon learned to be invested in my activities and started to talk more to others at the program. Sometime after this I was given a book discussion group to lead.

    With all the improvement I saw after this initial period, in which my abnormal anxiety levels disappeared, I made a few New Years resolutions. One was to branch out in my cooking. I had always cooked to some degree, but it was mostly pan stuff. Another one was to get back on track with my physical health and get a physician and physical exam. The cooking came first with a tongue injury that forced me to learned how to make pureed soups. After the physical that summer, I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. I did not want to loose my feet, eyesight, or be on dialysis, so I made the decision to change my lifestyle. After learning how to manage the diabetes at a series of classes at my doctor’s office, I started to reduce my carbohydrates and increase my fiber intake. I also started to walk. I am now up to two twenty minute walks a day. At that time I took a free online course on nutrition from McGill University. This improved my overall diet immensely. And I also gained a bonus; I started to bake.

    Now I find meaning in what I do with my life, firmed up my atheistic beliefs, developed more friendships, recognized that my life was filled with good things, and realized how fortunate I am. I have always felt it was import to be nice and kind to others, so along with these other things I incorporate most of the things positive psychology has found to contribute to happiness. The only thing I do not do and will probably never do is mindfulness practice. It is just to frustrating, and I really do not need its touted benefits.

    Last year I started a blog – aquestionersjourney on wordpress. I write mainly in a philosophical mode. Each of my blogs start with a question. I now, after almost a year (shy two months), have ten followers and eleven blogs, but I write because I want to write regardless of whether it gets read or not. I will not deny that it is nice to gain a new follower or a complimentary comment, or any comment really.

    I know this is rather long, but I thought you would appreciate it, as well as some of your readers.

    I am glad you are doing well and look forward to reading more of your blogs.

    Liked by 1 person

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