Always seek out new experiences, lovelies. You never know what could happen.
Earlier this week, I had to stay late at my university to work on a multimedia project for my English class. (I ended up staying on campus for a grand total of 12 hours that day.)
During the afternoon, I found that I felt over-wired and tense even though I didn’t have any work to do. I finished my homework and was basically free until the evening, but my mind was racing around like it was on track and field. I figured I’d get in some quality meditation to clear my thoughts — my university actually has a dedicated Meditation Room complete with cushy pillows, soundproof walls, religious books, dim lights, the works.Despite the furnishings and near-dead silence, I couldn’t bring myself to relax. I started worrying about what the other girl in the room must have been thinking of me when I accidentally turned off the lights. Could she also tell that I had no idea how to properly meditate? I kind of just close my eyes and let my mind go silent?
All of these thoughts began to reach a boiling point until I thought “Enough!”
Bottom Line: I didn’t come to the Meditation Room to worry about how foolish and incompetent I look to other people. I came to calm my nerves and, frankly, I was doing the polar opposite at that point. On top of that, why did it even matter what this complete stranger thought of me? Couldn’t I just let it go?
Wouldn’t it be way less stressful in general if I just let go of trying so hard to look well-composed and prepared?
I think it’s time for me acknowledge that coming into adulthood isn’t easy. Just a couple months ago I was asking if I could go to the bathroom and now I’m asking which highway has less traffic in the mornings. It’s a learning process and a lot of people expect more of me than I’m capable of, but I shouldn’t impose that on myself.
I give myself permission to fail, I give myself permission to stick out, I give myself permission to stay childish, I give myself permission to make mistakes over and over if that’s what it takes.
I give myself permission to be who I am. I’m NOT alone in being able to do this. Check out these other bloggers who gave themselves permission to be themselves.
BeKindToYourMind opened about her experiences with psychotic depression.
BeautyKnowsNoFlaws got vulnerable and real about life struggles.
Harriet Day dared to be herself and inspired others to do the same.
Bethany Kays admitted that she wasn’t okay.
Living in Stigma reminded us to be ourselves no matter what.
Moral of the Post: Be true to yourself. Yes you CAN do it.
P.S. Still waiting on the bullet journal I ordered from Amazon to come….looks like it won’t be here until the 1st of next month….can hardly wait to organize all my book ideas in one place (currently located in various nooks and crannies on my phone)